Laughter is a Social Animal - The Corona Diaries

Having not done much in the way of real panic buying I offered to go out and get some shopping late this evening. After reaching over to M and gently placing my hand under her chin and closing her mouth she said okaaaaay. She also gave me the look that meant she was highly suspicious. I hid behind my hero husband mask and said – no point in us both taking risks. I knew that didn’t really wash with her, but while she was stunned I grabbed all of the bags and headed for the door, only pausing long enough to grab our ever increasing shopping list consisting of things we couldn’t get last time. Rather than try the main supermarket I headed to the little Spar shop instead. As I suspected it was relatively quiet. Once inside I noticed there was plenty of fruit and veg, but still no toilet rolls.   I decided to go for priorities and began working my way down isles foraging for essentials like curlywurly’s, crisps and alcohol. My plan being to get these and then go back for stuff w...

Lockdown Holidays We must be the only people in the UK who have had to take a week’s holiday when most of the rest of the country gets a free one.   For M it was a case of take the last of your hols before the new ones start in April or lose them. Despite the sunshine I have to say I am already fed up of our lockdown holiday.   For some reason M, has taken over the hoovering. Granted I tend to do a half arsed job, but she has gone completely over the top. No sooner do I get sat down in front of the TV than she is there telling me to lift my feet up. I have lifted them up so many times my stomach muscles feel like I have been to the gym. Sadly my six pack will be hidden under the extra two stone I will put on over the next few weeks. Still at least it’s a bit of exercise. It really does annoy me though. hoovering has always been my domain and with her taking over, it means I no longer have an excuse for a cuppa and a biscuit afterwards. Another bit of freedom ...

Herdwick Sheep Being inclusive is important so I think it is time to spread the net and start making fun of other folk rather than just ourselves.  David's Diary Well it has been bit strange this weekend as there is no demarcation line between work days and weekend days with her being home midweek. I did get caught out and started panicking and making excuses for why I wasn’t working on Saturday. Fortunately M managed to calm me down by saying shhhssss now, it’s the weekend you musn’t work so hard. Mind you that panic soon started to rise when she mentioned the gardening again. My nerves are shot to pieces now, so I just nodded, knowing I was beaten. The only upside is she can’t get any plants because the garden centres are shut and we can’t cut the lawn because I have taken the fuse out of the lawnmower plug, so she thinks it’s broken and I have not got around to fixing it yet. Cough wise, I have had to drop that ruse as it was freezing in the van. I did try to sneak ...

Striding Edge the big ant question David's Diary I must admit, despite the trials and tribulations of having Moira working from home, I am feeling pretty smug today.   Yesterday without my usual hourly snacks I was on the verge of passing out from hunger at times. Plus the kitchen draw stash has been compromised so I daren’t touch it.   Fortunately while not being able to sleep last night due to bad hunger pangs I came up with a cunning plan.    While she was in the shower this morning I grabbed a load of grub and hid it in my office draw marked camera cables and software – she never looks in there so I should be safe. I also knocked up a flask of coffee to wash it all down with and hid that under my desk.   Things nearly went tits up when I tried to wash up the stuff I had just used and accidentally turned on the hot tap. That is an ABSOLUTE NO NO in our house when someone is in the shower. A blood curdling scream from upstairs, followed by swearing...

M,s Diary  Nothing to write about really, I have a strict deadline to meet so it’s mostly been head down this morning.   Around ten while having a coffee and some nice biscuits from David’s not so secret hiding place in the kitchen bits and bobs draw I realised there is one major disadvantage from having my desk facing the window rather than the passageway to the kitchen, and that is being reminded just how untidy the garden has become over the winter. I am going to have to get David to help a lot more this year, so I think it’s time to start building him up to it. I know he doesn’t have a lot of time due to his workload, but we really need to get some kind of work life balance if I am going to be at home more. He has been in the office all morning and said he doesn’t want to be disturbed as he has so much to do. I think he is trying to catch up as I am off work next week to use up the last of my holidays. I had hoped to take it easy, but David wants to try and grab ...

David's Diary I have done pretty well today as I have got a bit more used to the noises in the lounge that I wouldn't normally hear through the day. At one point I heard some rustling and thought, sh#t we have a mouse or a rat downstairs. The words “you f**king useless laptop” echoing up the stairs, brought me back to reality. I didn’t dare ask what was wrong though, so just continued playing Solitaire.   Lunch was just Marmite on toast again. I really am going to have to pull out all the stops to come up with some ideas otherwise I am going to starve up here. Things nearly went pear shaped just after lunch when I was watching Simon’s Cat on Youtube with my ear buds in. She just walked into the room and there was no time to drop it down and bring up Photoshop, or Lightroom. Thinking fast I said it was research and began to fob her off with a bit of tech talk.  Fortunately the phone went, and while it was just a cold caller wanting to sell me solar panels and in...